If you’re reading this, it could potentially mean that your marriage is already in crisis mode. Along with all of the sudden unforeseen havoc that this virus is causing all over the world, there is one more symptom that is even more invisible or transparent than the virus itself, and that is the negative effects it’s causing in marriages and families all over the country.
Will your relationship survive the coronavirus?
In this article, we will share with you 10 effective steps you could work on right away to keep your marriage alive and avoid the guidance of a family law firm. Yes, we are a law firm, but we believe that you should try to avoid a divorce, if possible. Divorces are devastating to all party members, but most importantly to the children.
Right now, you are probably finding yourself quarantined with your spouse and family, and this may be the most time you’ve been together since your marriage. Being on lock down with your spouse can bring out disorders in personality that never surfaced before until now. Perhaps, it’s even you who needs the help and not so much your spouse. Who knows, but it’s time to do something about it.
In China, a place where the Coronavirus has had a head start on the rest of us, it has been said the some divorce lawyers are over their head with new family law cases. Are we following in those footsteps? Can we see the warning and do everything to avoid the same from happening to you?
The stresses of being quarantined include depression, the fear of being infected, inadequate supplies, boredom, uncertainty and much more.
Quarantine is stressful
Being quarantined can bring out the worst in us. We are talking about symptoms such as anger, confusion, and even post-traumatic stress symptoms. The stresses of being quarantined include depression, the fear of being infected, inadequate supplies, boredom, uncertainty and much more.
1. Seek opportunities to exemplify the positive moments
Look for opportunities to show interest, find areas of agreement, express affection and appreciation. Be kind and demonstrate empathy when the opportunities present themselves. Give compliments when you notice a positive gesture from your spouse that is good for the household. Perhaps they are playing games with the kids, disinfecting areas of the house, etc.
2. Recognize that worry, fear, stress and guilt are expected behaviors
When these moments arise, it is important to use comfort and support rather than criticism and finger pointing. These are normal reactions during a quarantine, so practice patience with your spouse.
3. Get the facts and understand the actual risks
The job of the media, no matter what your party affiliation is, and they all have one common goal- and that is to sensationalize events to keep you coming back for more. Dig into real research and understand what does and doesn’t need to be done. Seek the answers from the trusted sources.
4. Limit media consumption
What is the purpose of keeping the tv on the news all day, aside from bringing you nothing but more stress? Set time limits, change the channel, choose to limit how much you watch the news. Do it for the sake of your sanity.
5. Connect with friends and family
It is also important to connect with those who could provide social support. Reach out via phone, text, face time, or whatever it takes to lower your stress. Reach out to loved ones to see how they are coping and give them the emotional support they may need.
6. Create and follow a daily routine
As humans, we are at our peak when we have structure. Structure is helpful in what you do in the mornings, the afternoon and the evening. Set some time for work, some time for exercise, some time for a hobby, times for eating and time for learning.
7. Eat healthy
You know what’s not running out at the supermarket? Healthy food! It may be tempting to eat bad or binge eat out of boredom. Pay attention to what you eat. Make a commitment. Share the commitment with your spouse. You will feel better and stronger with a healthy diet.
8. Stay busy
Now is the time to do those things that you have been meaning to do. You could address your landscaping and your fixes around the house. Learn a new language or program. Find a hobby. Do things you never had time to do in the past. Do things together as a couple, such as cooking or doing house chores. Share the burden of doing laundry, feeding the dog, changing diapers, etc.
9. Get enough sleep
Work out your day so that by the time it’s 9pm, you’re ready to hit the hay. Get sufficient sleep. Lack of sleep creates an influx of health issues. Make it a priority to get enough sleep. Getting enough sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your health. However, sleeping too much will give you the opposite effect and has even been shown to cut down your life span.
No more excuses. You now have the time. Get on YouTube and find a good workout routine that doesn’t involve going to the gym. You will be surprised how fit you could be without a gym pass. Go for a short walk or run around your block, just be sure to follow your social distancing protocols.
11. Practice mindful meditation
Meditation not your thing? Have you ever given it a serious shot? Those who have are enjoying all the benefits of mindfulness. There is no better stress reliever than deep breathing and muscle relaxation. The good thing is that meditating has never been easier with help from apps such as Mindspace or Calm. There are also Audio books and YouTube. Connect with a type that matches your style.
Did you notice something? A lot of these tips, yes of course, were blatantly obvious, but more importantly, a lot of them were geared towards fixing YOU. The thing to always remember is that if you’re not happy with yourself, you are going to make those around you feel unpleasant as well.